What To Tell Your Children If You Can't Afford Something

I have heard from a couple of people that you shouldn't discuss money with children. I am not sure yet how I feel about this. I guess you would not want to frighten them, and make them worry about finances when you don't need to. Like you would not want them to think that just because you can't afford some item that you are going to lose the house, etc.

One of my facebook friends said it is a pet peeve of hers to hear a parent tell a child that they can't afford something. She thinks that just saying no to a request is enough.

Again, not sure how I feel about this. I think this might work with a young child. Like just saying no if they want a candy bar at a checkout.

But I think older children should understand the concept of budgeting and not being able to afford something. After all, they need to learn about money too, and they will be dealing with budgets and not being able to afford something all too soon. I don't think just saying no in these cases is enough.

Maybe I need to read up on what Dave Ramsey says about this.

Do Poor People Not Understand Money?

I guess the obvious reason might be yes. Yes, poor people do not understand money--that is why they are poor.

But of course it is more complicated than that. There are a lot of economic and social reasons that people are poor. Minimum wage, lack of child care, lack of education, and family support, etc.

This is not what this post is about.

I am just talking about how poor people handle money. Like do they handle it well? Waste it? Or what?

I remember on one episode of Mad Men, Don Draper's first wife, who is from an affluent family, said when she realized that her husband was a fake and from a poor family--"Well, I knew you didn't know how to handle money."

The thought jarred me. I had never thought of ability to handle money in that way.

Recently, a friend of mine, also from an affluent family, said this same thing about her husband, who is from a poor background. "When you are poor, you don't know how to handle money."

Again, I felt jarred. Why?

I think it is because I have been a bad money handler most of my life. I am not from a poor family. So, I guess I wondered about the correlation.

I guess the idea is that if you don't come from money, you don't know what to do with it. You don't have experience with it, because you have never had it.

But couldn't it also be that you are poor at handling money, because you have some depression or other problem like that? I think that is more my problem. I am single, and I probably spend more money than I should, because that is how I see my friends--that is  my social life. And through the years, I have bought things and gone on trips when I shouldn't have to make me feel better. To fill a void in my life.

But I am fighting the good fight. And I think I am winning. Slowly. I better! Because I don't want the alternative to keep on making bad money mistakes.

Bag Lady Syndrome--I Am Not Immune

I discovered the term --Bag Lady Syndrome--when I skimmed my local paper tonight. I have never heard the term before, but I think I have it. It is a fear of ending up a bag lady.

Anyone can feel this way. The article went onto explain that women from every walk of life can have this fear--the very rich to the poor. No one is immune.

Part of the syndrome is realistic. You see homeless people on the street, many of them women. There have been a multitude of stories since 2008 about people losing their jobs, sometimes coupled with gargantuan medical bills, losing their savings, their homes, and ending up on the street.

So, there is a possibility. But how likely is it to happen to you? To me? Apparently, I am not alone in being a woman and worrying about this outcome.

Is it because women make less money and tend to  have a more precarious financial position? Is it because we are less risk takers with money, and therefore make less on investments? Are women generally still too dependent on their spouse's income and don't pay enough attention to their own careers? A combination?

Another article I read on the subject tonight talked about some of this being evolutionary. That the fear of being left behind is built into women.

Maybe it is not so bad to worry a little. You don't want to create a financial mess that will make becoming a bag lady a sure thing. But you also don't want to worry about it too much.

I guess the answer is to take a periodic reality check, and make changes if necessary. Spend less. Save more. Get better paying jobs. Increase skills to be more marketable. Etc. All of these will help keep the bag lady at bay.

Back in Business

Oh my goodness--I see it has been over a year since I posted. And I am so sorry. I love my blog, and I love my readers. I haven't meant to be away so long.

And indeed, I didn't need to be gone so long. A lot has happened. I have a new job. Actually, I am self employed and am an independent contractor. And that has a lot of good and bad aspects, both of which I will go into later.

But with this new job, comes new financial challenges. And these are on top of my old financial challenges! Yes, I am still not a financial genius. Imagine that.

One good thing is that maybe this new job has awoken me to more financial responsibility. Really? I hope so. It feels like.

I have woken up to some things I have to do. Save money. Stop having overdrafts. Try to pay bills in full and not have payment plans with interest. Pay things off as soon as possible.

Certainly not rocket science. And certainly things I knew before. But now maybe I am really feeling it? I hope so.

When You Need Debt Help

In my last post, I talked about how I am just a couple of months away from being debt free. What a blessing. And what a long time coming. I never thought I would be here, to be honest.

I know the shame. The stress. The endless collection calls and letters. The inability to pay the bills. Or to get a new credit card. The worry about maybe not being able to buy a new car when you really need one because of a low credit score. Or any number of scenarios. The worry about meeting a guy and maybe his rejecting you because of your financial problems. Your never getting ahead. And seeing money just go down the drain.

I realized I needed debt help. I listened to radio shows, read books, blogs, magazine articles, everything I could get my hands on about conquering debt. Things didn't start happening until I became obsessed with getting out of debt. I wasn't perfect, but I got on payment plans, didn't take out any new credit, was more deliberate with spending money. And I saw my balances go down. Not my life looks a lot brighter and my future more secure.

Count Down To Debt Free!

I can't believe it, but it is true. I am only a few months from being debt free (except my car). It is such a dream. I remember when I was years away from this goal. And was tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I am proof that it can happen. You just have to get to the point where you are sick to your stomach about your debt. And really want to change. And never live like this again.

Will I be smarter about my money from here out? You better believe it. Will I ever be in debt again? Over my dead body. Will I have a better life. Absolutely. 

I Am Getting Closer To Being Debt Free!

I am so happy! I am very close to being debt free. Just four years ago, I had what seemed to be an insurmountable amount of debt, and now I am within 10 months of paying it all off. Or maybe sooner. I had five credit cards, all with pretty high balances, so my monthly payment for all of them was pretty high.

I have paid off one card, and am a couple of months from paying off another one. Then another one a few months later. And then another one a few months after that. The last one will be paid off in 10 months, but I am hoping sooner, as I can apply my extra money I will have to this last one. I will not know what to do with myself with all of that extra money. (Save it and invest in, I hope!)

At this point, I do not need this, but I thought I might need debt help early on. There are firms all around the U.S. and also in Canada that can help with debt settlement. Debt can be such a burden, and so many people, including me, have lived under its toll. I urge everyone who is in debt to make a plan to get debt free as soon as possible.

Celebration Time: I Paid Off A Credit Card!

I paid off a credit cars last week. Pop the champagne! It is truly exciting for me as debt has definitely been a yoke around my shoulders. The balance was $140.00 and I paid it off on online.

The sad part is that is the punt I first paid for the piece of exercise equipment I bought at k- kart a decade ago.

A decade ago. Those are sad words. Since then I have paid a couple of thousand dollars in late fees and interest. Never to get it back and nothing to show for it. To make matters worse, I could never get the equipment assembled correctly and never used it.

Looking back, I can't believe it. Where was my head? Not screwed on right obviously.

But things are looking up. At least it is paid off now. And I will pay off another one in a few months. And the other cards will be paid off within the year. Much better than when I had five years to pay it all off. Never to do again.

Can Friends Get You In Money Trouble?

My answer to that question is a definite yes! The article below talks about the ways that friends can lead to money trouble and how to try to handle that.

I don't mind buying gifts for friends, because I am one of those who thinks that gifts are precious. Just don't overdo it!

I don't have so much trouble from friends about money now, but I did when I was young. I had three friends, all older, who set me off on the wrong financial course, one that I am still dealing with today. OK, I know that it was really my fault that I spent more than I had to keep up with my older, glamorous friends. But I got the feeling that they liked that I was struggling to keep up with them and goaded me into it. See, they ended up not being very good friends--it just took me a while to catch on.

So, the result was I developed really bad money habits right out of college. And when I say I am paying for that years later--decades later--I really am. But my debt level is going down fast, and within a year I will be out of debt, except for my car. And that is where I want to stay.


http://money.msn.com/frugal-living/post.aspx?post=4674a9c0-a983-49b5-8743-9ccb55fa9215

Boomers To Go Bust? Uh Oh

Articles like that linked below scare me to death. I am a boomer, albeit a younger one. But to read that boomers are probably going to go bust in retirement is frightening! I am not as bad off as some mentioned in the article, but I am on par with some others, which is still not good.

I don't mind working hard and forever, but what worries me are the factors out of our control: the economy, medical costs, social security, etc.

We as a group need to get on the stick, but how to collectively do so?

http://money.msn.com/baby-boomers/5-reasons-boomers-will-go-bust-fiscaltimes.aspx

Multiple Income Streams Are Good

This post from Wise Bread points out what I have thought important for a long time: Multiple Income streams are very important. I have had side jobs for a long time, because I have never made enough money at my regular jobs. (And to be honest, I have always been in too much debt, and needed the extra money to make ends meet).

But aside from that, multiple income streams are more important today. With loss of jobs and unpredictability in the job market, who knows when a regular paycheck will go by the wayside? As this article points out, your side income can help you out in tough times and even grow to become your primary job. It is even better when your side job is something fun or easy for you to do.

One thing I was surprised about was the pushback from some of the readers of the Wise Bread article. Side jobs tend to take time away from family. Yeah, like duh. If you don't need side income or a side job, then you are lucky. But you may need it more than you realize.

http://www.wisebread.com/4-reasons-why-everyone-needs-side-income

Student College Debt: The Next Bubble?

We've had the Wall Street meltdown and the mortgage meltdown, among other financial catastrophes. Could college student debt be the next big problem?

There is much evidence to say yes. Student debt is at a trillion dollars, and interest on student debt may increase drastically soon. Students are also taking out more private loans, which are more unforgiving than public loans.

What is the answer? I am all for good education and going to the best school that you want and you can get into. Maybe try somehow to tap into creative ways to get money, such as more diligent scholarship search, or using 529s. Parents may need to be better at saving and college planning too.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/22/student-loan-interest-rate_n_1372506.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl25%7Csec3_lnk2%26pLid%3D146080

Khloe And Lamar

I appreciate the guest post, Vito Rivers

Khloe and Lamar is one of those shows that I told myself I wouldn’t watch. I like all of the Kardashians but I really don’t like the way Khloe acts around Lamar most of the time so I decided that this show would not be on my top ten list. Recently I started watching the show after an episode of E! News. I was surprisingly intrigued by Khloe and Lamar’s relationship. I think they have grown out of the baby talk stage for the most part so that annoyance is gone, thankfully. The thing that I really liked about them is that they are always looking out for each other and they make decisions as a team. The episode that I saw was about Lamar possibly moving to Turkey to play basketball during the lockout that was happening in the NBA here in the states. Khloe’s Armenian family took issue with them living in Turkey for historical reasons but K and L worked it out together. Check outhttp://www.DirectStarTV.com/ to find out if you can get E! at your house.

Hope We Can Go On Vacation Without Busting The Budget

It is now February, and a group of us are starting to think about planning a vacation this summer. We thought about Seattle, San Francisco, Boston, or Toronto, but ruled them out because we need to drive. We put on our thinking caps again and came up with Orlando. Sounded fun, we thought. We can drive, and many of us have never been there before.

So how to go on this journey without breaking the wallet? We can all share in the driving and cost of gas, which helps greatly. We also agree on watching the food budget and only eating at nice restaurants once in a while. We are worried about hotel costs though. One of our group wants to stay at one of the Sea World Hotels, and she thinks that we can get a package that will save on some costs. That might be more fun than staying somewhere out far just to get a cheaper rate and then driving back and forth all the time. We might also be able to find some coupons on restaurants and attractions in the area, and that would be great.

As soon as we make our Orlando hotel reservation, we will need to call AAA and get a trip pac, Onward ho to see Mickey!

A Super Bowl Party Is Nothing Without Good Wings

Guest post written by Allen King

I remember a few years ago I went to a Super Bowl party at a friend's house who was trying to eat really healthy. I understood it because he needed to make some eating changes for his health, but I wish I had known that they were going to be serving things like carrots and hummus. That stuff is okay, just not when I'm watching the Super Bowl! So when I volunteered to host our friends' party at my place, I decided to make sure that I had some healthy food, but also the traditional Super Bowl foods.

I looked online to see if I could find some good recipes for some really spicy buffalo wings. When I was searching for a recipe, I saw the websitedebtcounseling.bankrupt.com. I read through it some and decided that I need to come back to it later because our family is in debt and we need to consult our options.

I did track down a really good bufalo chicken wings recipe and it got the approval from me and then by all of my guests too. The Super Bowl is about as good of a reason to eat bad food as Thanksgiving.

Starting To Invest On My Own

I have two 401Ks, one from my previous job and another at my present job. So, I have been investing in a sense, but with mutual funds it seems as if you are investing at arm's length.

I recently opened a sharebuilder account and have been buying some stock here and there. Nothing to write home about, but I have had fun researching the stock and buying investments on my own. Some of what I buy might be considered penny stocks. I heard a lot about penny stocks when I worked at the business school, but to be honest, I didn't pay attention to the topic as well as I should have.

Apparently, the definition of a penny stock is a stock that is under $5 per share or even $1 per share. And it doesn't sound like they are traded on the stock exchange. I have one stock in my portfolio that is currently 69 cents a share (sounds like one of the penny stocks for sure!) and another that is $1.98 per share (another good candidate). But they are traded on the exchange, so maybe they are not???

Anyway, I have been having fun trying my hand at it, and hopefully my nestegg will grow. I need that to happen for sure!

Cutting Costs

Thanks for the article from Jermaine Haynes

I have really been trying hard to cut my costs around the house. Last year I took a pay cut, and things have been really hard on me. I have tried to find another job that paid more, but I haven’t had any luck yet. I guess I should feel lucky that I am staying afloat, but living paycheck to paycheck with absolutely no wiggle room is getting old. I’ve been looking for ways to cut back that won’t be so painful. One of the things I’ve been considering is scaling back my Dish TV package. I’m not sure how much I’ll save, but even $20 a month might make a difference at this point. I’ve also been trying to cut coupons after I was inspired by the show “Extreme Couponing”. I don’t think I have as much time as the women in the show have for clipping and organizing, but I figure I might be able to save a good amount if I try a little harder. I am just so tired of being worried aboutmoney, and I am dying to be comfortable again. At this point, I don’t care what it takes.

Law And Technology

I am not a technology lawyer, but I wish I were. I worked at a business school for quite a while and was exposed to all of the excitement of start-ups and technology transfer. There is a lot to think about when it comes to technology, including nondisclosure agreements, fair use and copyright, ownership rights and disputes, and risk management.

I know some about fair use and copyright from all of my years as a journalist. That knowledge has held me in good stead as a blogger and attorney. I really know nothing about ownership rights, and a smidgen about risk management.

I learned about nondisclosure agreements in my remedies class in law school. The idea of a non-disclosure makes sense, because you don't want others to learn your secrets and then pass them on inappropriately and financially benefit from that. That is why some companies ask independent contractors to sign such agreements. I have been asked to sign nondisclosure agreements for some of my freelance assignments. It has been kind of funny, though, because in the course of my work, I didn't learn anything that I could have passed on. So the nondisclosure agreement was unnecessary. I wondered why they asked me to sign one, unless they don't really know how to use such an agreement, or maybe they weren't sure of the scope of the project at first. But I signed it, and the freelance gig went nowhere. Go figure.

Figure It Out

Guest post of the week by Brittany Booker

I wanted to figure out how to help save electricity around the house because man, our bills had gotten so high. I started turning off lights left and right AND I’ve become that person who unplugs all her appliances when she’s not using them – that’s the type of responsible citizen I want to be. Who am I kidding, I didn’t start doing this out of any eco-concious breakthrough, I just didn’t want to have to break the bank paying my utilities each month! A friend told me about a website where I could get fixed rate energy and I jumped on that chance…it really helped me narrow down my options and save some money right off the bat. It’s still up to me though to try and curb my usage which is hard in this huge old house – the electricity seems to just leak right out of the walls or something. I’m going to keep doing what I can though and we’ll see how that ultimately works out for me.